Repost: https://equalmindset.com/articles/dear-singles (February 2018)
Like all the holidays on our calendar, Valentine’s Day brings cheer to the majority but leaves some depressed.
It’s a day defined by bright red and pink tacky heart-shaped decorations strewn around stores aiming to sell chocolates, jewelry and booze on a day where couples profess their love and become extra sappy to the annoyance of:
A) those who aren’t in a relationship and
B) those who are reminded of a past relationship.
But I remember how the whole Valentine’s Day situation was a little less complex when I was in elementary school. It was easy to make personalized Valentine’s Day cards (or to buy them in bulk) for all my classmates and my family members, so no one had to feel left out.
So what changed?
Essentially, it’s because there is a societal expectation hanging over our heads in the form of Hallmark cards insinuating that once we reach adulthood, we should be in a happy loving relationship.
But why should a person’s happiness be based off finding a soulmate and living a romantic fairytale love story?
To be perfectly honest, the idea doesn’t sound too bad.
But I, for one, don’t feel any shame for not having a significant other to weigh hand and foot on my every whim to make me feel special for one specific day out of the entire year.
I never felt the need to find a partner to make me feel complete.
Sure, I’ve imagined the prospect but never entertained the idea because I want to improve myself. I want to become satisfied with who I am before sharing everything there is to know about me with someone I plan to share the rest of my life with.
And perhaps, it’s also because I have a huge list of unrealistic expectations for a possible significant other in the back of my head.
Therefore being a “single” lady, let me share a few reasons as to why we singles should be happy on Valentine’s Day:
There is no expectation or pressure to bleed money over your grandiose plans (or lack thereof) or hints for ideal gifts from your partner/significant other. According to Statistics Canada, the value of watches and jewelry bought by Canadians as Valentine’s Day gifts was $3.60 billion in 2015.
We know that February 15th is Singles Awareness Day, a day celebrating how singles can live happily without having a significant other. What’s also great about this particular day is the fact that St. Patrick Day’s decorations readily replace all the gaudy red and pink decorations for green sparkly ones. Not to mention, sweets leftover from Valentine’s Day are on sale. Because who doesn’t love candy and chocolate?
Valentine’s Day commercializes romantic love, but love can be expressed in different ways for different people. So, why not make it another day to share your love for your friends (by partying at that cool new club you heard about), your family (even though they might be pushing you to make grandbabies) and loved ones you haven’t been in touch with (because when life is extremely busy, we sometimes leave ourselves isolated from others)?
We can treat Valentine’s Day as another day of self-love. Treat yourself to that [insert the perfect gift you’d like to receive on Valentine’s Day here] because you undoubtedly deserve it. It may seem conceited, but it’s fun to make people wonder who sent you that little present.
Whether you loathe Valentine’s day or not, it is your choice as to how and with whom you want to spend the day with. There are perks to spending time with a significant other by sharing magical moments with that special someone. There are also perks to being comfortable as your own person, choosing to spend time doing the things you love with your best friend, yourself. There is no shame for being single or not. As long as everyone is happy, that’s all that matters.